A meatball view of creation
John Foyston, Newhouse News Service
October 2, 2005 FSMVAR1002
Folks proposing intelligent design as an alternative to the theory of evolution should recognize as brothers in arms — er, noodles — the Pastafarians, who seek equal time for the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
“I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster,” wrote Bobby Henderson in a recent letter to the Kansas State Board of Education. Henderson, 25, lives in Roseburg, Ore., and is hoping that someone will offer him a job that doesn’t make his head explode, as he puts it.
Judging from his summer, he’s had some spare time since his last job as a software development engineer — enough to become the head prophet of Flying Spaghetti Monster in response to the Kansas education board’s recent proposed new science education standards, which open the way for intelligent design to be taught along with the traditional theory of evolution.
Intelligent design holds that certain features of the universe and of living things are best explained by an intelligent cause rather than an undirected process such as natural selection. Adherents stress the search for evidence of design in nature and downplay their nearly universal belief that the intelligent designer in question is God as worshiped by Christians.
Henderson, owner of a physics degree from Oregon State University, says that as long as there’s room for intelligent design in science curricula, then there’s room for some meatballs and marinara sauce, too. “It was He (Flying Spaghetti Monster) who created all that we see and all that we feel,” Henderson wrote. “We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.”
A fond vision of the future
After expressing his hope that legal action will not be required to make it so, Henderson closes his letter to the Kansas board with this fond vision of the future: “I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country and, eventually, the world; one-third time for intelligent design, one-third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one-third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.”
OK, Henderson’s rationalist roots are showing. Like many in the scientific community, he sees intelligent design as creationism in a lab coat. Or the creationist’s nose in the tent, if you prefer. Yes, the theory of natural selection is called a theory, but so far it answers most of the questions about the origins of species with elegance and simplicity.
Intelligent design answers those questions by positing a supernatural influence, and even though many scientists believe in God, few see intelligent design as anything other than pseudo-science.
Worse, it makes no reference to pirates. Henderson’s Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster website (www.venganza.org) includes a very scientific-looking chart plotting the world’s waning pirate population in comparison with an increase in average global temperature.
I’m not sure of the connection. But a goodly number of Flying Spaghetti Monsterians are on board, judging from the more than 3,000 e-mails Henderson has received and the 2.6 million visits to his website.
Clearly, many have been Touched by His Noodly Appendage. For the rest of us, here are some FSM factoids as gleaned from websites and e-mail conversations with Henderson.
Adherents end prayers with “Ramen,” not “Amen.”
According to the church website there are several reasons to convert to Pastafarianism, including: flimsy moral standards, every Friday is a religious holiday and the FSM heaven includes a beer volcano and a stripper factory.
It’s catching on in a big way
FSM is catching on in a big way: Churches are being formed rapidly, the faithful are embellishing the FSM canon and writing FSM hymns, and the Web is alive with Flying Spaghetti Monsters. That FSM is a real religion may perhaps be most clearly seen in the recent eBay auction of a grilled cheese sandwich bearing the image of His Noodliness. It sold for $41 after 32 bids.
“I think it’s very cool the way FSM is growing,” Henderson says in an e-mail. “Google now returns 545,000 results for ‘flying spaghetti monster,’ where there were just 100,000 a couple weeks ago.”
Time for a think tank, in other words. “You may be familiar with intelligent design’s Discovery Institute, a supposedly scientific think tank whose mission is to challenge evolution,” he says. “I’m glad to see that science methods have been relaxed to allow this type of investigation; research is much easier when you’ve already chosen your conclusions.
“The FSM think tank, the Enlightenment Institute, will be similar in function, except we will be gathering evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe and is active in our daily lives.”